The Sacred Art of Rest Part 2: Receiving, Sisterhood, and Revolutionary Care

 The Practice of Sisterhood as Revolutionary Rest

In "All About Love: New Visions," bell hooks wrote, "We are not born knowing how to love anyone, ourselves or anybody else. We have to learn, and we can learn how to love."

Just as we learn to love, we also learn to practice and receive sisterhood, a transformative movement that has the power to reshape our relationships and communities.

We are not born knowing how to care, love, and celebrate one another. Many of us grew up without healthy examples of what genuine support looks like. To create Psychological Trust Systems, we must unlearn the competitive patterns that patriarchy and capitalism have embedded in our relational systems and relearn how to care, love and celebrate each other collectively.

These unchecked inherited narratives operate unconsciously within our relational intelligence, compromising our emotional and cultural intelligence narrative containers. When we function from inherited scripts that position women as competitors rather than collaborators, we limit both our individual and collective full potential. This learning and unlearning process requires intentional rewiring of neural pathways, not as a solitary journey, but as a community of practice where care and trust become lived experiences.

 I remember having a paradigm shift the first time I read bell hooks' Six Ethics of Love: knowledge, trust, care, commitment, responsibility, and respect. It reminded me that these ethics were not just abstract values, but lived practices, cultural wisdom codes, an invitation to slow down, to create spaciousness for grace, patience, and being.

The practice of intentional rewiring, like learning to receive praise, help or support from another woman, is a form of revolutionary rest. It's not just a necessity, but a source of joy and fulfillment that we all deserve to experience through sisterhood.

 I realized that to experience sisterhood truly, we have to make room for the many ancestral wisdom codes left behind for us (like bell hooks' six ethics of love) and to consciously relearn how to be soft, tender, and celebratory spaces for ourselves and each other until it becomes a default habit.

Beyond Systemic Betrayal: Accountability as Restoration

What if accountability within our communities of practice was not just emotional labour, but a form of rest?

 For 15 years, through SisterTalk Circles and SisterTalk Group, we have practiced bell hooks' six ethics of love, from emotional trust to knowledge of self, and explored what we call our Elephant Stories, learning how to celebrate ourselves and each other as a community. We've held space to explore the imposed stereotypes, inherited narratives about who we are, how we take up space, and what dreams we dare to hold. Our gatherings began in my living room, moved to public forums, and now flourish at wild nature retreats, each space becoming a sacred classroom for the art of not just receiving, but defining care.

The myth that "women can't get along" was critically explored during our 2016 SisterTalk Group summit: "SisterTalk: A Woman's Guide to Creating a Life She Loves – The Friendship Edition."  Our table topic? "Why can't women get along?"

Here's my welcome letter from ouu 2016 SisterTalk Group summit:

Hello beautiful warriors,

We are living in a time where we need each other more than ever. We've been taught that there can only be ONE star, ONE funny one, ONE smart one, ONE beautiful one, ONE brilliant one and the list goes on. The truth is, there is room for all of us. And today, as we celebrate sisterhood, we also need to unlearn the messages and the stories we have been taught.

There is enough for all of us.

This year, as we celebrate you, we also celebrate friendships, womanhood and life in general. Every year, we make time to intentionally celebrate our journey, who we are, where we are and where we're going. Celebrating where we are & who we are is key to our future success. Women make up half of the world, and yet we are still minorities in most, if not all, industries. We are paid less than men, we face inequalities in the workplace, and we are still being told what to wear, how to show up and what size we need to be.

With social issues like the UN's Sustainable Development Goals, SisterTalk Group is focused on Global Goal 4 Quality Education & Global Goal 5 Gender Equality – women and girls are the ones affected the most. And as women of colour, we are underrepresented even more in the workplace.

 Here's what I know. We must do better, and we can do better. I know that the only way we can advance and empower women and girls is to do it together. We can rebuild the sisterhood if we heal the hurt. As much as the media tells us otherwise, we are each other's keepers, and together we can achieve more.

 As studies have shown, women live longer with stronger social circles, and when stressed, we talk about our emotional experiences to make sense of what we have gone through. Friendships enrich our physical and emotional lives, and we need to ensure we protect & maintain these bonds. Having a supportive female community is one of the best gifts we can give to ourselves & each other.

 We cannot do it alone. I cannot do it alone. I need you. We need each other. And today, as we celebrate friendships, bonds, connection and community, let's rebuild the sisterhood by elevating, celebrating & supporting each other on this journey called life. When we women learn to love & accept ourselves, then we will know how to love & support each other."

What Our 15+ Years of SisterTalk Group Work Has Revealed

From my living room to public spaces to our current wild nature retreats, we've shared conversations on Shame, Trust, Vulnerability, Ancestral Leadership, Cultural Equity, Psychological Safety, Betrayal, and Self-Trust. Each gathering confirmed what bell hooks taught: sisterhood isn't automatic, it's cultivated through intentional practice.

Within that practice, you find women to dream with, cry with, travel with, frolic with, and rest with. Our psychological safety research shows that learning to receive within sisterhood builds reservoirs of trust that strengthen collective resilience. It creates a psychological and creative wealth that goes far beyond material measures.

 This isn't just a feel-good theory. When women support each other courageously, measurable shifts occur: enhanced decision-making capabilities, increased innovation and creative risk-taking, and the courage to dream bigger than we ever imagined possible. I am a living example of this practice. The KDPM Equity Institute, KOFA AI, The Success System - none of these would have been possible if I didn't have the practice and support of sisterhood. One woman supported by a network doesn't just benefit individually; she becomes a catalyst for collective creative capital, demonstrating new models of self-determination and success, helping impact thousands.

 The multiplier effect transforms how we see ourselves and what we believe is possible. In a world where women comprise half the population but remain minorities in leadership across virtually every industry, this practice of dreaming bigger together becomes both a practical strategy and radical resistance, a fundamental shift in how we author our narratives.

The Revolutionary Economics of Care

Consider this: who benefits when women remain fragmented, unable to receive care, support, or love from one another? What becomes possible when we tap into our full creative and relational capital?

Our 15 years of practice reveal that addressing the inherited systemic narratives, the "elephant stories" about female competition and women not getting along or supporting each other, creates space for new creative capital and economic possibilities. When we move from scarcity thinking (there can only be one) to abundance consciousness (there is enough for all of us), we generate what we call psychological and creative capital.

 This creative capital flourishes in tangible ways within organizations and communities. Through our circles, women who practice sisterhood report greater cultural confidence and more strategic risk-taking. They reclaim their cultural capital and embrace their intuitive intelligence, creating space for psychological rest and collective dreaming that transforms entire lineages and organizational cultures.

 When we move from scarcity thinking (there can only be one) to abundance consciousness (there is enough for all of us), we generate what we call psychological and creative capital.

 This is why the practice of sisterhood can be one of our most powerful psychological trust systems, where we can dream bigger and author new narratives together.

Sacred Rest Reflection Questions

• Who benefits when women remain fragmented, unable to receive care, support, or love from one another?
• Who do you become if you and your dreams are seen and celebrated?
• What becomes possible when we tap into our full creative and relational capital?

Your Scared Rest Permission Slip Practice 

If these words feel like they're speaking directly to you, consider this your permission slip. Write, draw, journal or record new permission slips for your practice of sacred rest. Notice what inner scripts or habits you need to release, to receive.

I receive,

• Permission to rest without guilt.
• Permission to value being as much as doing.
• Permission to trust that my brilliance doesn't fade when I pause; it deepens.
• Permission to be still, to notice my presence.

 

The world needs your brilliance, your dreams, and you, rested. Your dreams deserve to flow from a well-nourished soul, one that's been replenished with intentional care. From a version of you who knows in her heart and bones that her rest and her worth are no longer up for negotiation.

 

 Ready to embody your Permission Slip in nature?

Our Pleasure of Presence Retreat is designed for women ready to reclaim rest as a revolutionary practice. Together, we'll explore what it means to honour your full brilliance, including your need for stillness, your right to presence, and your inherent worth beyond productivity. Because your brilliance deserves to be sustainable, and your rest deserves to be revolutionary.