I wouldn’t be here today giving testimony to how much loving myself transformed my life if it didn’t actually happen.
For years I held myself back – personally and professionally – while yearning for more.
A deeper connection to self.
I couldn’t look at Karlyn without judging her.
I punished her for mistakes she made decades ago.
I was an expert at doing 3-month stints with men.
I eventually graduated to 6 months, then a year. But at the slightest feeling of discomfort or inkling that he might hurt me or break my heart, I was gone – like the wind! The truth is, running away was hurting me more than anything else. I wanted more love, more fulfilling relationships, more joy – but didn’t work on identifying the barriers within me getting in the way.
Instead, I succumbed to both the Imposter Syndrome and the WWPT (What Will People Think) disease. I learned much later that wanting to feel love and desire love didn’t mean that I was weak.
It meant that I am human and that I do deserve the love I seek. I learned that there are no prerequisites to love and that it was my human right to ask for what I am worthy of.
But it’s hard to ask for something you believe deep inside that you’re not worthy of.
When we’re unhappy in love, we hurt deeply and it shows in everything we do. Our well-being is affected. We dim our light and we settle for less than we deserve. The truth is, I was afraid to show up fully in life because I was afraid of rejection.
I didn’t believe that I was worthy of love because of what I had been through. After all, who would love me if I showed them all of me? Knowing that I didn’t fully accept all of Karlyn yet, who else would?
Through this journey of self-love, I realized – there’s magic in that.
The world accepts us as we show up. If you show up worthy of love, the world sends you people who will love you as you so desire.
Who we are – who we tell ourselves we are – is created from our actions (what we do), from our choices (the people we allow into our lives), and the energy we put out.
Learning to love Karlyn gave me permission to ASK for the love I deserve which is also in alignment with the decisions I make and the actions I take. I am now able to be more present, to find joy in everything I do, and most importantly to show up authentically in life and in love.
The truth is if I didn’t learn to love Karlyn – If I didn’t learn to find and break the barriers I had placed between myself and love – I would never know what my true love language is.
I wouldn’t know what I really like. I wouldn’t know what love is to me. We sometimes demand so much from our loved ones – demanding that they love us and cater to us – when we haven’t done the same for ourselves.
So today, as we celebrate love, as we celebrate you, as you read this, as we collectively seek out the barriers we have against love – stay open to receiving.
Receive whatever comes and connect with those you gravitate to. Say yes, say yes, and then say yes again! Say yes to YOU. Say yes to the universe. Say yes. Because every experience was designed to reveal more of who YOU are.
And who you are, is love.
Here’s what I know for sure because of the mistakes Karlyn made – because of the pain she has been through – because of the “stuff” she still hasn’t figured out yet: she deserves love.
She deserves love because of all of that. Know that you also deserve love, because of what you have been through. Seek to find the barriers you have placed within yourself. Remove them gently, and open yourself to receiving the love that you deserve.
Because here’s what I know for sure:
You are worthy of love.
Is self-doubt a constant companion? Are imposter syndrome moments keeping you from realizing your biggest dreams and desires? Maybe shame is getting in the way of moments of courageous action? Or maybe it’s something entirely different.
Discovering what’s getting in the way of your success is the first step to dreaming bigger into your purpose.